submitted by Chiang

Four old cowboys are having a discussion about what is the
fastest thing in the world.

First cowboy says, "I believe it's thinking, 'cause when you
prick your finger or touch a flame, the pain instantly becomes
thought and hits the brain."

Second cowboy says, "Well, I think its blinking. When you
blink and open your eyes again, you immediately see everything.
Nothing is changed."

Third cowboy says, "Well, I think it's light, 'cause as soon as
you press that light switch, you go from dark to instant light."

Fourth cowboy says, "Well, I think it's the Mexican-two-step diarrhea."

All the others ask simultaneously, "Diarrhea? Why?"

Fourth cowboy says, "I'll explain it to you. I went across the
border to a saloon last night and drank a buncha homemade Mexican
tequila. On the way home from the saloon, I stopped off at Lupe's cafe
and ate two helpings of her Mexican Special, which had been warmed over
a time or two, and a buncha jalapeno and some chili peppers I never say before."

First cowboy asks, "So, what's that got to do with speed or diarrhea?"

Fourth cowboy says, "Well, later on when I was in bed, I felt this fire and
fierce rumbling in my belly, and before I could think, or blink, or turn that damn light on . . ."