submitted by Elios

At lunch time, sit in your parked car and point a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down. Page yourself over the intercom. (Don't disguise your voice.) Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN." Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors." Reply to everything someone says with, "That's what you think." Adjust the tint on your monitor so that the brightness level lights up the entire work area. Insist to others that you like it that way. Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Wear them one day after your boss does. (This is especially effective if your boss is the opposite gender.) Send e-mail to the rest of the company to tell them where you're going. For example: "If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom." Put mosquito netting around your cubicle.