A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished.

The trouble with being the best man at a wedding is that you never get to prove it.

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.

Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.

If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.

I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.

It's not true that married men live longer than single men. It only seems longer.

How do most men define marriage? A very expensive way to get your laundry done free.

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.