There was an older man who'd married a younger woman. All was going well... except in the bedroom. He couldn't last long enough to satisfy her. She said it didn't matter but he knew it was getting her down.

So he went to the doctor and asked for help. The doctor said 'Well, there's one easy solution. Before you have intercourse with your wife, satisfy yourself first, that way you'll last longer when you're with her.'

The next day the man gets a call from his wife while he's at work. In a husky voice she tells him 'I'm going to ravish you when you get home tonight. We're going to have a mammoth sex session.' The man can't concentrate on work for the rest of the day and finally 5:30 comes round and he's the first out of the office, eager to get back to his wife.

While he's driving he remembers his doctor's advice. So he pulls over onto a quiet road. But he can't just sit there in his car having a wank, so he decides he'll lie under the car and pretend that he's fixing he car.

He crawls under the car, closes his eyes, imagines his wife naked and starts wanking. After a while he feels something tugging at jeans and this voice says 'Sir, this is the Police, would you mind telling us what you're doing?' Not wanting to lose this wonderful image of his wife he kept his eyes closed and said to the Policeman, 'I'm just fixing the axle of my car'

To which the Policeman replied 'Well while you're down there you'd better check the brakes as well, because your car has crashed into a tree half a mile down the road!'