submitted by Nancy

An Irishman goes into a pub in London with a little man, 6 inches tall, in his shirt pocket. He says to the barman, "I'd like a pint of Guinness for meself and a thimble of Guinness for me friend."

The barman says, "Blimey, what've you got there, Paddy? Is it a little Irish leprechaun?"

Paddy answers, "No, it's an Englishman with the shit kicked out of him."