Submitted by Phil

Twas the night a-bil Chrusmuss, the house was muzz-boot,
Not a wa-hish was stirring, not even bar-goot
il tree was lit up mit-til shums il shum-moo-see,
And jiddo complained, "You waste lek-trik, munhoo-see!"
il Stocknuss was hung lisk il chumley all day,
We hope that St. Nick-luss soon biddo jay,
and knowing that Santa would fill every one,
we use sitto's stocknuss, 'cause each holds a ton!

il chuldrun was sleeping, so very serene,
They dream of baklava, em-jud'dra, and teen.
My wife lay beside me, and snoring so freely,
She keeps me awake, so I smoke my argeelee!!!
When up in the attic I hear a great harakee!
It sounded like something was wrong with the ka-ra-kee!
"Ya ba-teel." I shouted, "A tragic tak'teer!"
The kara-kee's busted! No arak this year!

I fly to the attic, with tun-jra in hand,
To save a few drops of this whiskey so grand.
But when I arrive, now shoo do I shoof
Well, nothing is wrong, so I climb to the roof!
il amar was shining, il stars were so bright,
And kilshee was covered with talij so white,
and Right on my roof top I see Santa's sleigh.
And eight buffing reindeer a'looking my way.

But weinak ya Santa? He's missing! But WHY?
No sooner I ask, then I hear muffled cry!
I walk 'round the roof top, and look all about,
And there min-il chumley, two feet sticking out!
"Ya dil-lee, it's Santa! Yee, shoo should I do?
Perhaps I should bush him and bush him right through"
But Santa he cry from below and afar,
"Grab hold of my feet, and bull me, you h'mar!"
One hour I am bulling - one hour ba-la stop,
Til finally Santa came down with a plop!

"Ta-fud-dal, shar-riff-na," I joyfully toot,
But blainly I see he's not very mubsoot.
He reach in his bag and with bresents he fill me.
Then shaking his finger, he start to bah-dill-nee
"You think you are smart, and blaying it cool,
You must widen hul chumley, and do it real quick,
Or I'll come back next year and biff-rick-lak your neck!"

Then laughing he jump in his big shining sleigh,
And cracking his whip, hei s off and away:
"On Youssef! On Roostrum! On Bootrus! Il-yas!
We're way behind schedule, so give'er the gas!
And he look back and shout as his sleigh disappear:
"MERRY CHRUSMUSS MAA'LESH, AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR!"