submitted by Larry

Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking.

If you look out of the window on the port, or left, side of the aircraft you will see that the inner engine is on fire just below the fuel tanks in the wing.

If you look out at the starboard, or right, wing you will observe that a widening crack has developed at the wing root, making it unlikely that the wing will remain attached to the fuselage.

If you look down at the surface of the sea over which the aircraft is flying, you will notice a small orange dot. This is a life-raft. In it are your co-pilot, your flight engineer and myself.

This has been a recorded announcement."