23.He is the funniest, strongest, best-looking, most successful man you have ever met. And all your friends think so too. Especially the cute ones.

24.Your (select appropriate item:) butt/boobs/hair/makeup/legs look fine. As a matter of fact, it/they look damn good. Stop asking.

25.If you want a satisfying sex life, you will never fake an orgasm.

26.It is not necessary to discuss the heaviness of your menstrual flow with him.

27.Remember: that Nair bottle looks an awful lot like shampoo if left in the shower.

28.Two words: blow job. Learn it. Live it. Love it.

29.Dirty laundry comes in several categories: Looks fine/smells fine, Looks fine/smells bad, Looks dirty/smells fine. Unless you intend to wash it, do not try to disrupt piles organized in this manner.

30.Yes, Sharon Stone/Pamela Anderson/Cindy Crawford is prettier than you. Just like Brad Pitt/Antonio Banderas/Keanu Reeves is better looking than him. But since neither one of you is going to be dating any of these people, love the one you're with.

31.Of course size matters, and boy does he have the grandaddy of them all.

32.His (fill in appropriate selections:) bald spot/beer gut/impossibly thick glasses/impotency/scabby rash, is cute.

33.Don't hog the covers.

34.Watching football is a major turn-on for you. But please wait until the halftime show to act upon that...

35.He does not just want to be friends.

36.A successful date always starts with the woman uttering the sentence: "You know, why don't we just skip the expensive dinner and stay here having freaky circus sex all night?"